Remember How He Lived

I have to borrow a quote from my good friend Natalie, she says this on her profile on her blog and I love it!
me... well, I'm simply a composition of all the events and people that have influenced my life... hopefully you'll see at least a glimpse of all these marvelous people and places through this blog!

As our family has approached the year mark of my brother Nelson's death I wanted to share a few things that I have thought about often. There is no doubt I have changed as a person, we all have challenges and trials in life and it's our choice to see how we react to them.
Shortly after Nelson died a cousin of my Mom's gave us a talk given by Elder Jeffrey R Holland at a funeral of a friend of his who had also chosen to end his life. Here are several quotes from that talk that I appreciated a lot.

I forbid us to remember Karl Davis only for the way his life ended... Now that is unfair to him. If I have any authority to demand it, I demand that this not be the final memoriam of Karl Davis. If we are not able to remember the good and the joy and the delight and the constructive Christian contribution of this man, then we ought to be ashamed of ourselves we have made a greater mistake. You resist it and when you talk about it as we all need to, to work through this and as you talk about it with others and friends and children I plead with you to not make this event the characteristic of Karl Davis' life and his only contribution to us. I'd be ashamed and hope that you would be ashamed. We owe him more then that.

Martha came to Christ with an "if only." (Everybody is given to "if only.") Martha came to the living Son of God and said, "if thou hadest been here, my brother had not died." If only you'd have been here. Maybe with the implication that he should have been, or that He could have been. Christ lovingly, understandingly said, "Thy brother shall rise again." And she, a little irritated, said, "I know he will rise in the resurrection." "I am the resurrection and the life." He declared! I'm not even sure she got the sentence out until the reply came for time and all eternity. "Don't talk to me about the resurrection, I am the resurrection and the life and when I say he'll rise again, he will. From His lips, "I am the resurrection and the life. He that believeth in me, though he were dead, yet shall he live." And then this interesting doctrinal point. "He that liveth and believeth in me shall never die."

We need a better vocabulary, Susie. Karl is something, but he is not dead. That from the lips of the Savior of the world. He has gone, he has moved on, he has left us, he's away. We know what we mean when we use the language of death but there the Master of heaven and earth, the Savior of the world, the Redeemer of all mankind, the Living Resurrection, saying that when you live and believe him, you never die. So, we'll let Karl go for awhile, but he's not dead and you know that. You know that now and you'll know it tomorrow and you'll know it next week. You'll especially know it when he is spiritually close to you, whispers to you in the night, still goes to your ball games, helps through the veil to raise your grandkids- you will know that Karl Davis lives.

This experience, no matter how devastating it has been has only increased my testimony in the power of the atonement and given me a much more sincere understanding and appreciation for the resurrection of Jesus Christ. We know that Nelson is very busy on the other side and his strength has been felt.

Last of all, this post wouldn't be complete without a few memories.

The day Eric and I were married I was getting ready and Nelson came in and asked if he could borrow on of Eric's ties. He chose a green one with the spires of the Temple.


Nelson and Marvin, two peas in a pod! I don't have many memories that don't involve both of them and their many ventures.

Nelson, Marvin, my cousins Sam and Cheyenne.

Nelson and my sister Jeanne 2006

One thing that has helped me feel happy on days that I especially needed it has been thinking about the day our family will gather to have Nelson's work done.

What a privilege it is to be a member of the only true church on earth where we have the knowledge of life beyond death, and knowledge that family relationships continue into the eternities. I love my brother and my family, I wouldn't be the person I am today without them.